LOVE ME OR HATE ME, i'm still on your mind.

Monday, December 22, 2008

i was sitting down and thinking on saturday
before i went for mass
about how boring
and relatively meaningingless
this christmas is turning out to be
and then i realised
that this christmas
has been all about ME
my shopping my clothes
so superficial
4 weeks of advent has passed
and i havent grown spiritually at all
i havent put aside time
to reflect
or to be thankful for what i have
and to count my blessings
i've been feeling so so lonely
these last few weeks
this year
and its so POINTLESS
its getting me nowhere
i'm going to stop crying over him
cause
i'm really not alone at all
i have my family
and my awesome friends
and god
some people dont even have that
so shouldnt i at least be thankful for that
this is not really me saying goodbye to you
this is me
finally acknowledging the fact that
i have no control over us
this is me putting all of this is god's hands
and trusting that he will take care of it
this is me accepting the fact that
if us being together is not in THE PLAN
i will be okay with it
because i truly believe
that if we are meant to be together
that somewhere down the road
be it a week/month/months/year/YEARS later
we will get our second chance
though i have also come to accept the fact
that in life
most of us rarely ever get a second shot
at the things that matter most to us
and even fewer of us get a THIRD shot
so if there ever were to be a second time
i wouldnt wanna force it to happen and screw that up too
things cant always work out the WAY i want them too
i understand that
but it doesnt make it any easier to swallow it
well well
i guess
sometimes
love is proved in walking away
so
there it is
merry christmas love
dont you ever ever think that i dont care
i'm just doing what i think is best
for us both

the tragic romance