LOVE ME OR HATE ME, i'm still on your mind.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

"That lies should be necessary to life is
part and parcel of the terrible and
questionable character of
existence."

WHY is it
that EVERYTIME
i get close to a guy
i'm not even talking about
serious relationships now
i'm not even referring to just a HANDFUL
of guys now
i mean that at least 90% of the time
when i get close to a guy
and i get to know him better
I GET DISAPPOINTED
my life story
its happened my whole life
they all seem so great
so smart and so together on the surface
but REALLY
they're all the same
i TRY i try to convince myself
that i just know all the wrong guys
BUT
then
WHERE HAVE ALL THE GOOD GUYS GONE
it REALLY really BUGS ME
i'm not saying i am a saint
i have my flaws
but my flaws
i dont try to hide them
AT LEAST I HOPE NOT
maybe its not wrong
maybe we all do it
hide the worst parts of ourselves
away from the world
after all
what people know of us
is only what we choose to reveal
maybe i do it subconsciously too
but HONESTLY
if you feel like i do
then TELL ME
i'd rather know
cause i dont intend to do it
intentionally
you know
you think you know someone
you think you understand a person
and then suddenly
when you see the other side of them
you realise
YOU DONT KNOW THEM AT ALL
i wish we could all hold on to the
innocence of childhood
as i get older
i find it increasingly difficult
to trust people
there are only so few people in this world
whom you can REALLY
totally and completely trust
i am just
sad
and disappointed
and frustrated
i wish i was more trusting
i wish i was less skeptical
i wish that things like this
would not affect me LIKE THIS
but i am
and they do
so
AYE

i give up

the tragic romance