Love is giving someone the power to hurt you and trusting them not to
everytime i feel like blogging about my internal emotional turmoil by the time i log in i have nothing to say anymore rarr its just you know the last time i talked to him which was a few days ago a part of me inside just snapped i got really angry like SERIOUSLY WHY AM I SO NICE TO YOU when you are being such a dickhead to me YOU dont deserve my niceness and i dont deserve the cold shoulder ESPECIALLY NOT FROM YOU i hate myself for loving you i really do and i hate you for more than one reason a few weeks ago the love i had was still so much more than the hate but now there is more resentment than love i dont care you say you're doing this to protect me and blah blah blah as if this whole story isnt hard enough to swallow the way you have been handling it the way you have been treating me you just dont care anymore and it really hurts letting go of you i have been TRYING so desperately to hold on to the pieces that are left because in my heart i know that i love you too much and that if i were to walk away, and close my heart to you now i will never be able to open it up to you again if you ever come back and i didnt want to destroy all hope i wanted to believe that there was some way that we could save this but i am tired of praying and pleading with god god hasnt been giving me much of what i want but i guess he knows best and i tend to want the wrong things all the time all i know is that i have to let go of this because it hurts too much you know what makes me hate you the most is that you made me believe that we would last forever even though i didnt want to when the rest of my future is so freaking unclear now that was the only part of the future that became clear to me that we were really going to find some way to be happy for the rest of our lives and have our own life our own family AWAY from all chaos (YES CALL ME STUPID i am so stupid) but then you took it away from me i had to watch the pretty picture we had painted slip right through my fingers and there was absolutely nothing i could do about it that is what hurts the most and for that it is going to take a very long time to forgive you for that but there is no more me and you and the future is my own to make or break i thought i couldnt live without you i felt like i couldnt breathe without you but i guess i'm slowly realising i'll be just fine on my own miss independent is back in the house you can go and drink and smoke the rest of your life away its not that i dont care but i cant be there to look out for you anymore you're right your life is yours and my life is mine now
It's a shame that it had to be this way It's not enough to say I'm sorry It's not enough to say I'm sorry
Maybe I'm to blame Or maybe we're the same But either way I can't breathe Either way I can't breathe
All I had to say is goodbye We're better off this way We're better off this way
I'm alive but I'm losing all my drive Cause everything were been through And everything about you Seemed to be a lie A guiltless twisted lie It made me learn to hate you Or hate myself for letting it pass by
All I had to say is goodbye We're better off this way We're better off this way All I had to say is goodbye We're better off this way We're better off this way
And every, everything isn't only What it seemed so hold these Words that you never told me Its time to say goodbye Its time to say goodbye Its time to say goodbye Goodbye
Bye
Take my hand away Spell it out Tell me I was wrong Tell me I was wrong
Take my hand away Spell it out Tell me I was wrong Tell me I was wrong
Take my hand away Spell it out Tell me I was wrong Tell me I was wrong
