"He'll hold you in his arms till you can feel his disease"
alicia sinks into bouts of depression every now and then i honestly think that is why i have been so sick i just i'm not happy inside and am confused and unhappy and have been feeling very much alone i just sighsi dont think anyone will understand it if i say it but you know you know i REALLY thought he was the real deal you know when you meet someone you click so well with from the very beginning somebody who UNDERSTANDS YOU totally and honestly i am NOT an easy person to understand AT ALL you guys just click so well and both of you complement each other so well and you guys look good together and he is just the right height and just the right build and he takes care of you and he holds you when you cry and he doesnt let go till you stop and he is always there to hold your hand and make you feel like everything is going to be alright HOW CAN THAT NOT BE THE PERFECT GUY RIGHT? how can anything possibly go wrong i mean how is it POSSIBLE that ALL THAT is still just not enough maybe it is my fault maybe i am spoilt and fussy and expect too much maybe that connection i felt from the very beginning was nothing more than physical attraction cause that is the only way i can learn to let this go if i keep telling myself that it was nothing more that physical attraction that once again i let the guy play around in my head and confuse the two i will be okay as long as i convince myself that i just sighs sometimes i honestly dont know what to think about anything anymore alicia is HOPELESS when it comes to love and pretty much everything else actually sighs ah wells a few things i have learnt over the last couple of weeks
#1 BOYS WILL BE BOYS.GIRLS WILL BE GIRLS we just have to accept that.and stop expecting boys to be girls.but in turn i guess have to stop acting like girls think the same way as you guys do cause we DONT.which is why alicia has decided that she will not date guys between the age of 17-21. (because they are just TOO HORNY and all they ever think about is sex)not that men arent equally bad but i guess we can all hope that they would have grown somewhat of a brain when it comes to these sort of stuff by the time they hit 22.otherwise I WILL BE VERY SAD ):
#2 "Banans are a good source of vitamin c,potassium and detary fiber, and contain no fat,cholesterol or sodium according to the INTERNATIONAL BANANA ASSOCIATION.(www.eatmorebananas.com)" yes you read that right.there IS an international banana association.i read that in the newspaper by the way. SO how bout we start our own strawberry society now then yes?
#3 that alicia does not merely want love she CRAVES for it for some very strange reason okay so maybe i do know the reason but it is silly it should not be a necessity it should be a WANT i should be able to function perfectly fine without it so long as i have the love from my family and friends i need no other love
#4 i am not the only one who has been EXTREMELY UNLUCKY i have friends stuck in the same rut to SERENA TOH PLEASE HANG IN THERE we are going to push each other out of this stupid ditch
#5 that we are nineteen we are going to be adults soon as much as i love my friends and as much as i want the best for them i feel like it is not my place to be their moral compass anymore we all have by now our own sets of beliefs and morals and i promise i will not try to change yours because that is who you are i will stand by you guys because i love you guys as my friends no matter what and you guys will always be important to me it doesnt necessarily mean that i approve or condone of all the stuff you do just like how i know you guys feel the same about some of the stuff that i've done whatever it is it is POSSIBLE to be best friends with someone who's view are in total conflict of your own
#6 i love my family very much and sometimes i really do wish i could go back to being five years old again with not a care in the world with nothing to weigh me down
#7 you can run from god but you can only run for so long you can run but you cannot hide
# alicia DOES NOT FUNCTION WELL when deprived of chocolate for LONG PERIODS OF TIME oh YES.i found out that i've been eating chocolate since i was SIX MONTHS OLD hahaha.NOW do you understand my chocolate addiction. (:
yep i guess that's all.time for lunch time for me to stuff my face with food again time for alicia to get FATTER i am getting fat omg WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME haha guess i should go get some advice from the banana association people yes? HAHA i miss all my friends ALOT be safe friends alicia loves you
