this week has been MADNESS like seriously the week itself was SO SCREWED there arent any words to describe it! but okay at least it ended on a good note thank god! okay oaky i will start with the good stuff FIRST lit night was LOVE i am SO PROUD of drama EVERYONE has been under a LOT of stress this week especially because of the preview! but in the end on the night itself everyone was just FABULOUS i was SO happy! sitting up there watching the cast act it made all the shit we had to put up with this week worth it the cast was just FABULOUS seriously eveyone seemed to love it EVEN BR PAUL and THAT is very good wonderful wonderful job many thanks to the crew too! make up people were under a LOT of stress on the preview night but you guys did a wonderful job and MY LOVELY COSTUME PEOPLE only we know how stressful it was the past week! but you guys are THE LOVE i really love you guys fabulous job DALVIN DESERVES A THOUSAND HUGS AND KISSES. okay okay lit night was good too the rest of it and the food OMG only me and pet know how much chocolate cake we ate! heehee.
okay oaky enough about lit night i've been thinking a lot this week i screwed up this week yes i did made a very big boo boo which may have screwed a lot of things up in a lot of ways sighs but i've been thinking a lot bout what he said you know i do admit maybe i do then to remember the bad and forget the good you were right i like the memories too i have to learn to hold on to the good instead of the bad i let the bad cloud my vision more often than not and maybe you were right that i will always be like this spoilt and maybe just maybe you were right when you said that something bout my emotional void sighs i think maybe taht is what makes me the saddest that a cannot seem to deal with my own internal problems the fact that i still cannot fully and wholeheartedly trust anyone i can never let all my barriers down to let anyone in only god knows how strong the fear is and if it is true if i can never get over this i promise that i will never fall in love again cause it is wrong to make someone fall in love with you knowing that you may never be able to love them as much as they may love you you know how i always said that i wished for a heart of stone so that i wouldnt be able to feel maybe i hardened my heart a long time a go sighs it makes me very sad i dont want to be like this but i am i know i always say the way you grow up is not an excuse to behave the way you do now because when you're old enough you should be able to learn to deal with your own problems well the same goes for me i cannot keep blaming it on the way i grew up i need to learn to get rid of this problem or live with it sighs i think i should stop here its making me depressed all over again sighs i take it back i dont want a heart of stone anymore
the walls we build up around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy.
