i feel like i'm DYING inside seriously i cant wait until friday friday means so much more to me than just the END of production the end of drama it will be a TURNING point in my life a chance to leave all the crap behind to start over to MOVE ON its about time ALICIA NICOLE PETER bloody hold yourself together its just another TWO MORE DAYS you can do this yes you can but i did okay today i think for most of the day anyway i am so THANKFUL for the fact that me and audrey had to go out to get the accessories from sharon's shop today! plus looking at all the PRETTY PRETTY JEWELLERY really DOES help you take your mind off things i felt like we were in a world of our own! haha I LOVE AUDREY! sighs i guess the end of drama will be bittersweet there are many many things and PEOPLE that i will MISS spending time with! true. we WILL spend time together! you know that just it wont be THE SAME but we will i value my drama friends very much you know who you guys are alicia LOVES YOU MANY MANY you know everytime alicia is feeling emo and wants to be left alone to cry my eyes out you guys are ALWAYS there to make me laugh and to try to cheer me up sighs i'm going to make a list a list of people i'm ALLOWING myself to care about and for those people i will do anything you guys know me i will love you till the end of the world but to the rest i cant trust anyone now i hate being lied to for the better or for the worse i have always only wanted people to be honest with me thats all i ask if i'm going to try to deal with my trust issues i'm going to have to start surrounding myself with the people i can trust i will lock the rest of the world out its too tiring dont say i didnt try cause i did but you know after you get pushed away too many times there will come a time where you just GIVE UP and when i give up and refuse to care. well there is no turning back i realise that none of my posts make much sense to anyone now except for maybe serena and pet and my toddler friends but you guys are all i need i will take our friendship to the grave if i could i love you guys so much turtle friend too i love you k dear? be strong darling. i know i'm not setting a very good example but yes be strong.alicia will always be here for you sighs its sad but i've realised that i've tried so hard time and time again to be an OPTIMIST to think like one but everytime time i try it doesnt last for long and i fail miserably i guess i just have to accept the fact that i was born to be a pessimist haha. know what? serena told me to NOT BE SO JADED yesterday HAHA what has become of me that one of my best friends is calling me jaded haha maybe i am i dont know i dont care anymore sighs
FRIDAY WILL BE HERE IN NO TIME.
"My World"
I'm not comin' back I'm not gonna react I'm not doin' shit for you. I'm not sittin' around while you are tearin' it down around us. I'm not livin' a lie while you swim in denial 'Cause you're already dead and gone You leave me out on the curb just like everyone else before you.
Welcome to my world Where everyone I ever need always ends up leaving me alone. I know that yes it burns And I'm drowning in the ashes Kicking Screaming Welcome to my world
I don't care what you think I'm not seeing a shrink. I'm not doing this again. I'm not another student or a mother to take your shit out on So let's see what you got, let's see what you're not And what ever else you pretend You defended my intention long ago
Welcome to my world Where everyone I ever need always ends up leaving me alone.
I know that yes it burns And I'm drowning in the ashes Kicking Screaming Welcome to my world
So here I am again. In the middle of the end. And the trust I wish I'd made I always make too late
Welcome to my world Where everyone I ever need always ends up leaving me alone. I know that yes it burns And I'm drowning in the ashes Kicking Screaming Welcome to my world.
My world My world (welcome to my world) My world My world (welcome to my world) My world Welcome baby.
