and so yesterday was the first day my mum took my phone it is the beginning of a very ugly war that is going to plague this house till the a's are over i think i dont know why it mattered so much to me my mum taking away my phone at night maybe its because it is the night when i do all my messaging cause i cant sleep it is the night that i need someone to be there for me when i cry she took away my only outlet for all the stress and anger and frustration and disappointment maybe its the fact that in taking away the phone she took away every last bit of freedom i had and so i realise i am in control of nothing any longer cause everyone else is trying to run my life for me telling me what to do cause everyone seems to know what's best for me except for myself i'm sick of it this is my life my life to make or to break my life to SCREW UP damn it. i cried yesterday i cried so hard that i began to choke and i couldnt breathe and i found myself wishing that i'd choke on my own tears i dont want to live like this anymore everything is wrong i have nothing left nothing except for the friends that have stuck with me through it all sighs its just getting so hard everyday i find it so hard to get out of bed and face the world with a smile let the laughter hide the tears let the smiles mask the sorrow i give up maybe you were right its not worth it trying to be good its taking too much effort i feel myself slipping going back to what i used to be selfish and careless and irresponsible it took me such a long time to piece myself back together the last time i feel like i'm falling apart all over again i've hit ROCK BOTTOM again sighs
VALENTINE'S DAY IS COMING oh JOY i just pray that this valentine's day doesnt screw up as badly as the last one cause last year was just DREADFUL. 2007. the year i'm supposed to be turning EIGHTEEN FINALLY but i find myself looking forward to nothing right now gosh okay alicia snap out of it gahhh.
on a totally unrealated note i'd like to thank marian and sam and amanda and huiren for taking my mind off stuff in school gosh I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH yes sam you are right i am VERY thankful that we have a bunch of crazy frivalous friends haha oh yes and serena and pet and binni too for lunch at bk! haha. binni is HILARIOUS we all love your jacket binni haha ok ok lots of work to do i guess i've said enough for today time for dinner PASTA TODAY yayness.
"Addicted"
It's like you're a drug It's like you're a demon I can't face down It's like I'm stuck It's like I'm running from you all the time And I know I let you have all the power It's like the only company I seek is misery all around It's like you're a leech Sucking the life from me It's like I can't breathe Without you inside of me And I know I let you have all the power And I realize I'm never gonna quit you over time
It's like I can't breathe It's like I can't see anything Nothing but you I'm addicted to you It's like I can't think Without you interrupting me In my thoughts In my dreams You've taken over me It's like I'm not me It's like I'm not me
It's like I'm lost It's like I'm giving up slowly It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me Leave me alone And I know these voices in my head Are mine alone And I know I'll never change my ways If I don't give you up now
It's like I can't breathe It's like I can't see anything Nothing but you I'm addicted to you It's like I can't think Without you interrupting me In my thoughts In my dreams You've taken over me It's like I'm not me It's like I'm not me
I'm hooked on you I need a fix I can't take it Just one more hit I promise I can deal with it I'll handle it, quit it Just one more time Then that's it Just a little bit more to get me through this
I'm hooked on youI need a fix I can't take it Just one more hit I promise I can deal with it I'll handle it, quit it Just one more time Then that's it Just a little bit more to get me through this
It's like I can't breathe It's like I can't see anything Nothing but you I'm addicted to you It's like I can't think Without you interrupting me In my thoughts In my dreams You've taken over me It's like I'm not me It's like I'm not me.
i fell in love with this song i love kelly! i'm addicted.
