mt paper was screwy... bleargh.. and i forgot to bring my dictionary!!!! can u believe it?!?! sighs... was panicking like shit.. oh wells.. thank god cikgu lent one to me... sighs..
took a cab to school todayy.. and the last somg they played before i got out was... "everytime" sighs. oh wells... guess my june hols are gonna be very free now.. nothing to do. besides study.. and the occasional outings... haha sighs. still wanna get together with some of me cat class ppl.. nigel juz got back from camp. sam's gonna be coming back. and i owe a few ppl movies too.. so oh wells.. looks like i won't be that free after all.. sighs
i can pretend.. i noe i can pretend all i want... like everything's ok... yea... guess god does have his reasons for everything.. guess...when it happened.. and my mum kept telling me to pray.. i was like why shd i? whd'd god have to let it end so ugly... but then... i have to take my my hat off to manda.. she's a realli.... nice good holy person. often times we question god and why he does this and why he does that we dun see the light.wait for a few months weeks years days then maybe u'll noe why he did that. it's faith.
yea... i guess it is.. i dunno.. maybe.. in a way.. it happened for the best.... i dunno.. i thought my relationship with him. was perfect. like... what could possibly go wrong?! yea.. but guess this whole thing... made me see that our relationship did have it's flaws... and so did he... and so did i.. and now i noe... that if he does come back after the O's.. i have a lot of things to settle with him... so that maybe.. if we do get back together.. we'll get things right then...
juz.. this whole thing juz sucks... yest my mum was talking to me.. she keeps telling me alicia dun contact him dun contact him have some pride in yourself. and i'm like yea!ok!i noe! i told u i won't ok? so i wont. i juz won't. and she was like please. juz for once in ur life. listen to me. i'm trusting you. and do yourself a favour. and study hard and get ur O's... well, i was gonna be in big shit with my dad cause of the results... but my mum told him that we broke it off so he's laying off... my mum.. the other day.. i was talking to her... and she was like.. was it worth it? all the time? u wasted. not studying.. all the problems.. u caused with me.. all the arguements u had with ur dad. over the phone bills... giving up all your tuition money. ur own savings..... u bled urself dry for what? where has it gotten u?
i guess... she has a point... it's kinda true... to some extent... but... i guess.. that was my decision... i was willing to do it.. stupid. but yea... i did it... oh wells.. mum says i need to stop giving tuition. cause i can't handle it. giving tuition till bout july... pay off my bills... then stopping.. sighs...
i guess it was my fault. that i let my whole world revolve ard him.. amazing... that how... u say.. ur never gonna let thing's happen... they always somehow.. in some warped twisted way... end up happening to u.
sighs. yea. i'm sorry i can't be there for him it's not that i dun wanna. i cant.
Notice me, take my hand Why are we strangers when Our love is strong Why carry on without me Everytime I try to fly, I fall Without my wings, I feel so small I guess I need you, baby And everytime I see you in my dreams I see your face, it's haunting me I guess I need you, baby I make believe that you are here It's the only way I see clear What have I done You seem to move on easy And everytime I try to fly, I fall Without my wings, I feel so small I guess I need you, baby And everytime I see you in my dreams I see your face, you're haunting me I guess I need you, baby I may have made it rain Please forgive me My weakness caused you pain And this song's my sorry At night I pray That soon your face will fade away And everytime I try to fly, I fall Without my wings, I feel so small I guess I need you, baby And everytime I see you in my dreams I see your face, you're haunting me I guess I need you, baby.
