Monday. My whole world came crashing down on me. Just when i thought things couldn't get worse. Parent teachers meeting. Everything. Is gone. I have nothing. left. The teachers. told my mum everything. bout me. bout my blog . bout nick. I know they had good intentions. But every last thing that i held on to is gone.
i had to give up nick. my results were crap. i no longer have my phone. i'm banned from my own blog. everything.cut of in one weekend.
never.had i have to endure such a painful weekend. to cry thro friday night till now.when my mum came back yest... After telling me what happened at ptm. After telling me what she felt.i juz cried.i cried till my head could take no more till my heart could take no more. and... it juz...feel the blows. they come from all sides so suddenly. all at once. none of you will ever know what i feel now i hope you never do have to.
and god.dear.you.stop. please stop. dont apologise dear. everything happens for a reason. god has his reasons. god.there's so much i wanna tell you. so much i wanna say. i dun wanna put it up here. wanna keep it in our little world. that little world. the one with juz the two of us. it still exists. at least i hope it does. yea.i wanna sort everything out. dun say sorry baby. the past two months. were the best of my life. because of you. you. dun ever forget that. maybe yea.maybe it was. this was something that needed to happen. because we couldnt discipline ourselves. and yea. it made me see. that i did a lot of stuff wrong. i'm sorry for a loot of things too...juz... lets not dwell on that. now. we have six months to get through. study hard dear. please. for your own sake. and if you ever find yourself wandering if i miss you. if i still love you. juz know that i do. i love you
nicky read your blog entry to me. you know. a lot of ppl have been tlling me. that its close to impossible. to NOT communicate at all for six months and start it up again. that it USUALLY never happens. but.well.. we were never the usualcouple were we? haha all i'm saying is... that we'll try to sort everything out after the o's yea? at least i hope we do. but for now dear. time to seriously get down to work. you. please take care of yourself. be a good boy. Dun get into TOO much trouble k?haha sighs. and good luck wth your band concert. i'm so sorry i cant be there.... well. i DID get grounded anyway. sighs. but yea.i juz suck i cant get to see you jam. but i hope you guys put up a brillaint concert yea? well.of course you guys will! cause...they have me darling nick! haha. sighs. And yea.all the best fot your O's too. comcemtrate on your studies. Dun worry about me. i'm not pissed. How could i ever stay pissed at you for such a lng time? i juz....... i juz love you.that's all i can say now think happy thoughts. remember? happy thoughts make you fly! you made me fly. i still love the 18th of march. i still love bishan mrt. and the 159. and the city hall mrt. and california.heh.:) whenever you think abt us. i want you to remember the good stuff.not the bad. and oh yea!almost forgot swee lee!how could i forget? you.standing there with that tiny guitar.playing our song. hehe. i still love that song. hey.i love every song that you play.and you sing. and you write.remember? haha. sighs.guess this will be my last blog entry. since i'm now banned from the computer.banned from blogging i've got to majorly thank nicky and tigger. for typing this SUPER LONG entry out for me. THANK YOU NICKY AND TIGGER.I LOVE YOU. MEANS SO MUCH TO ME! (heh.can you imagine?nicky and tiggerwill be typing that out for herself!!)haha sighs.
to everyone else who reads my blog.blogs are EVIL!stop blogging! gets you into shit loads of trouble.
to my darling. well.to you. i love you. missing you a;ways. Remember to say your prayers.everyday whatever happens...happens. Now go study! you still planning to go to cjc. are you not?haha tc and god bless you dear i love you always.
ryan cabrera - on the way down
Sick and tired of this world There's no more air Trippin' over myself Going now here Waiting Suffocating No direction And I took a dive
And on the way down I saw you And you saved me from myself And I wont forget the way you loved me One the way downI almost fell right through But I held on to you
I've been wonderin' why It's only me Have you always been inside Waiting to breathe It's alright Sunlight On my face I wake up and yeah, I'm alive!
I was so afraid Of going under But now the weight of the world Feels like nothing, no, nothing Down, down, down You're all i wanted Down, down, down You're all i needed Down, down, down You're all I wanted You're all i needed And I wont forget the way you loved me All that I wanted All that I needed
Down, down, down But I held on to you Down, down, down But I held on to you
howie day - collide
The dawn is breaking A light shining through You're barely waking And I'm tangled up in you Yeah I'm open, you're closed Where I follow, you'll go I worry I won't see your face Light up again Even the best fall down sometimes Even the wrong words seem to rhyme Out of the doubt that fills my mind I somehow find You and I collide
I'm quiet you know You make a frist impression I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind Even the best fall down sometimes Even the stars refuse to shine Out of the back you fall in time I somehow find You and I collide Don't stop here I've lost my place I'm close behind Even the best fall down sometimes Even the wrong words seem to ryhme Out of the doubt that fills your mind You finally find You and I collide You finally find You and I collide You finally find You and I collide
