i spent the whole of yesterday morning crying... the rest of the day trying to hold back the tears... din go for choir.... totally din feel like it... went for mass with my mum.. and we sat.... one pew in front of the one.. which we sat in.. that week.. when my mum bumped into us.. sighs.. i realli have to thank my mum.. she's being so senseitive bout the whole thing.. we almost sat in THAT bench.. and i said something bout the bench being squashed.. and she quickly moved up front.. cause she remebered... haha sighs... juz sitting there.. thinking bout how we used to go for mass together and how we used to sit so close.. and how we'd walk out after mass... take the long walk to j8 holding your hand... and how i dropped u off at the mrt station that day.. and how u kissed me... and how i juz might never get to do that again... sihgs... was gonna start crying all over again.. got sick. my headache was so bad.. was shivering like an idiot at church.. my mum was there the whole day for me.. but i think she got pissed with me at that moment. telling me to snap outta it . cause I'M the one who had mt O's on monday.. sighs... left church... for some reason we went to secret recipe for dinner.. everyone was trying to cheer me up.. somehow bumped into jer at j8.. by the time igot home... sighs.. i tried.. to juz forget abt u.. i did everything.. talked to everyone yest... tried to keep myself occupied.. but.. so what? i still felt empty.. sighs... i dunno.. i juz feel lost.. i din wanna break up either. i realli realli didn't... i juz.. sighs.. din do much today.. know i shld be stuying... oh wells juz wannathank everyone who's been talking to me.. thanks guys... i love you.. i realli do. thank you.. to nicky and manda and kesey. and nigel and justin... sighs... i was still down today.. sighs.. i read ur entry... i cried.. sighs.. i still wanna knock your head. u silly boy.. u shd have talked to me first.. we could have come up sith some kinda.. compromise with ur mum... someting.. juz something! either than totally cutting each other off... sighs... but haiz...
this is what me good friend said.
how your mom he's capable of defending you after Os and it'll b better! c'mon when things go so well you're so happy when things screw up u wont try to better the situation? do you noe how lucky u are to find someone who cares so much for you and u to be able to return tt feeling? so many teens have bfs and gfs not all of them have a relationship as amazing or beautiful as u and nick's so don't juz let it go lyk tt cos he screwed up in front of ur mom and succumbed to his ONCE every1 makes mistakes tt was his are you going to allow tt mistake to end tt special relationship betw the both of you?
thanks justin o wise one.. haha sighs i wanna wait for u baby... i do.. sighs..
i'm juz.. sighs.. ok.. yest.. thro kelsey... was an exception.. ok. u made that deal with ur mum... YOU made it. I promised my mum i wouldn't try to contact u... u dun call me i dun call u u dun try to msg me i dun thry to msg u u dun try to see me i dun try to see u.. ur mum hates me enough.. i'm not gonna hive her more reasons to..
i'll always be here.. for you.. if u ever need to talk... i'll be here.. you juz make sure.. that YOU tell ur mum that YOU wanna talk to me.. first.. ok? i dun wan anymore trouble... esp with ur mum... sighs... gonna miss you every day every minute every hour every second
